WHOA.

So when I  go to sleep tonight, I will wake up (hopefully) and be able to say:
Tomorrow, my life really begins.

I have never felt such a mixture of emotions. Goodness.
I'm excited, nervous, sad, happy, hopeful, scared, and ten million more feelings I can't even pinpoint.

But I can't even tell you what this means to me. What an amazing chance this is. I mean the opportunies I'm going to have just going to this school? Everything I'm going to learn? Everyone I'll meet? It's unbelievable.

I think (I say think because I'm honestly not sure about how I feel about anything right now) I'm scared about change. Every school year, I go to open house. I get my schedule. Tell my friends, we plan to meet up the first day. Then every day is practically the same. See my friends, go to the same classes, same teachers I've seen for years, same workbook assignments, etc etc. And in some ways, I love it. It's safe. Orderly. I know more or less what's going to happen every day.
But maybe I need to change. Maybe that's the key to becoming more than a small town kindergarten teacher. And there's nothing wrong with that at all, I used to want that. But I just feel like I can do more with my life.
I've always wanted to do something for the homeless. And I know that sounds really stereotypical charity 'make the world a better place' kindof thing, but it's true.

It really, I mean REALLY upsets me to see celebrities with all these ridiculous things.
Like once, I saw a star that bought their newborn a stroller covered in these rare crystal things. I mean this stroller was like MILLIONS of dollars. That just pulled my strings. GAH. I mean you can get a really nice stroller for what, 200 dollars, and most parents wouldn't even spend that much!!
So let's say instead of this 3 million (maybe more) dollar stroller, they get one that's 200 dollars.
3,000,000
-         200
2,999,800
Do you see that?
Use your wonderful eyes and look at that number.
Let's spell it out. Two MILLION Nine hundred ninety nine THOUSAND and eight hundred dollars.
Wow.
Do you know how much a blanket costs?
What about even a little fleece throw or something? Little throws are like under 10 bucks at some places.
You can get a pretty big warm blanket for pretty cheap in some places.
Let's just go with 30 dollars.
Nice sized, warm, 30 dollar blanket. You could buy 99993 30 dollar blankets with the unneccessary money that was spent on a jewel encrusted stroller. There are homeless people in the winter who would appreciate that 30 dollar blanket more than anyone could ever imagine.

Maybe this isn't the best example, maybe it sounds a little dreamy and unrealistic to some people. But to me, a 16 year old kid, this makes sense. I don't know what you think, but this is what I think.
Gah.
Homelessness upsets me.
Anyway, I've quite obviously gone off subject again. My apologies:)

Anyway, maybe I'll do something with music. Maybe charity. Maybe I'll be a teacher. A world famous juggling acrobat....
Okay, maybe teacher IS a little far-fetched:)

The point is, I don't know what I'll do. But the only way to find out is through change. So, change is good. Maybe it's time to change.

WHOA. That's a song, I like that song, I'm totally about to paste the lyrics on here! AHHH BRILLIANT!!:)

Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change


This song is by Sick Puppies. I don't know why they picked that name... It makes me a little sad... but anyway, this song is awesome, I love it, I think it describes my situation well.

Yeah, so this was my nice little shabang doowop hippy hangy loodeedoo bam bam shabam thingy. With my future and such:)
Now that I have thought for a while, I believe I have earned a night's sleep:)

About 1 day and 12 1/2 hours. Wow.

(from Tangled)
That's where my LIFE! BE! GIIIIIIIIIIINSS!!!!!!!!!

Love that movie!
Okay okay I'm done here... maybe.....
So yeah... That's Just What's On My Mind...:)